Judaism, Japan, China are not three separate cases. They are three ways of implementing the same mechanism.
Judaism — obligations written down openly. The man sees and accepts. Japan — obligations hidden in the structure. The man does not see. China — obligations masked by patriarchy. The man thinks he rules.
Three methods. One pattern. And this pattern repeats everywhere.
India
- Manusmriti — an ancient Hindu code, usually dated to around 200 BCE–200 CE — recognises a woman's separate property, including, among other things, gifts received at marriage and from her family. Over time, some practices connected with property and marriage gifts developed into dowry culture, in which the daughter's family bore an increasingly greater cost of marriage.
- Stridhan — a woman's separate property, including, among other things, gifts received before the wedding, during the wedding, and during the marriage. It is her property. If the husband uses it, he is obliged to return it.
- The bride's father negotiates the price with the groom's family. The better the man — the higher the dowry the daughter's father pays. He goes into debt, sells land, takes out loans. Suicides of fathers because of an inability to pay off the dowry are documented.
- A man in India is valued. Literally. Education, profession, caste, skin colour — converted into an amount. How much he is worth as a husband. Not for himself — for the woman who “gets” him.
Islam
- Mahr — an obligatory payment by the husband to the wife at marriage. Not to her father. To her. A woman has no analogous financial obligation toward her husband.
- A man in Islam is solely responsible for supporting the family. A woman — even if she earns money — has no obligation to share her money with her husband. Her money is hers. His money is the family's.
Europe
- Chivalry — 12th century. A man serves a lady. Fights in her name. Dies. The entire chivalric code is a system in which a man destroys other men — in a tournament, in war — to gain the approval of one woman.
- Morgengabe — the Germanic “morning gift.” The husband gave his wife a gift on the morning after the wedding night — associated with the consummation of the marriage. The gift went to her, not to her father. The man gives. The woman receives. On the morning after the night in which he “possesses” her — he is the one who pays.
- The diamond engagement ring — first in the 15th century among the aristocracy. But the modern mass norm is not history — it is marketing. In 1940, only 10% of brides in the US received a diamond. De Beers came up with the slogan “A Diamond Is Forever” and the rule of two months' salary. By 1990 — 80% had a diamond. The man buys. The woman receives. The modern mass norm of the diamond engagement ring was built to an enormous extent by the marketing of a mining company.
Korea
- Hyo — Confucian filial piety, still strongly present in Korean culture. The mother is the judge of his value. The wife is the judge of his resources. The man stands between two women who evaluate him from both sides.
- Chimatbaram — literally “skirt wind” — a Korean term describing the intense involvement of mothers in their children's education. The mother sacrifices everything. But it is an investment. The son is to pass exams, get a job, bring money, support his mother in old age. The mother gives childhood. The son gives the rest of his life.
Russia
- “The husband is the head, the wife is the neck. The neck turns the head wherever it wants.”
Judaism wrote it into law. Japan hid it in structure. China masked it with patriarchy. India priced it through dowry. Islam wrote it into mahr. Europe called it chivalry. Korea called it filial piety. Russia called it a proverb.
Seven civilisations. Some of them had no contact with one another when these systems arose.
And the pattern — identical.
The man pays. The woman receives. The man serves. The woman judges. The man dies. The woman remains.
Draw your own conclusion.